a long time ago there were signs on the water fountains, and if it said "Whites" then only people with white-colored skin could use it. And because I have brown skin I wouldn't be able to use it if I was in that time. But Martin Luther King, Jr. talked to all those people and now it's not like that anymore. And also, did you know that only men with white-colored skin used to be able to vote? And that wasn't fair. And now, Mama, you voted, see?
This led into a discussion about how not too long ago it was against the law for "people with white-colored skin" and "people with brown skin" to get married. I could see his mind putting pieces together. That was about Mama, and Daddy.That was about him. His brow furrowed and he puffed out his chest a little.
Well, if I was in that time I would just stand up in front of a hundred people and tell them that is not fair! I would stand up there with Martin Luther King, Jr. and tell all those people that law is wrong!
I believe he would, too.
That may have been our first discussion about race. It was definitely the first time that Sol talked about himself in terms of race. He's talked about his skin coloring before, and how it more closely matches mine than that of his father, but he's never talked about it in terms of connecting him with a certain group of people, and/or differentiating himself from a group of people. I don't know if all that was going on in his head, but his words seemed to convey that on some level, a new way of thinking about himself in the context of the rest of the world is emerging.
Am I prepared for this? Right now, I'm doing what I tend to do with most things concerning Sol, and that is to stay close but give him room to do it for himself. He sees that I'm there, but standing back just far enough to allow him that feeling of independence and control that he so requires. I read in this book, I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race Conscious World, (which I didn't finish in part because the title kept throwing me off) that it isn't until grade school that children even begin to have a concept of race. And even then it is a very rudimentary understanding. I think probably something like what Sol expressed. Hmm... After reading some reviews just now, I'm inspired to go back and give the book a serious read, if for no other reason than to be able to actually recommend it or not. I came across this book while searching and I think I'll check it out as well. (From my library or local independent bookseller, of course.)
What amazes me is how completely solid in his identity Sol is. How confident and secure and just together. Luna, too, although they express it in such different ways. It makes me wonder, are they somehow special, or do we all start out that way and then, as we grow, begin to fall apart?
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